Mostly when we go looking for writing tips, we find advice related to the creation—meaning the story or novel we want to write. That’s great—there’s wonderful advice out there to be had! But there’s something we don’t see as often and that I would argue is just as important when it comes to the writing process: the creator—that is, you the writer. After all, without your imagination, your creativity, and your willingness to engage the writing process, there wouldn’t be any creation. So, let’s focus on YOU for a moment! I’d like to share my top tip on how to build confidence as writer. It’s based on my own experiences as an author and the years I’ve spent leading creative writing workshops. It’s a simple shift, but for some it can be what keeps them on the writing journey (and I think that’s worth it!).
Your Writer’s Mindset: Setting the “shoulds” aside helps build confidence
It’s not at all a bad thing to have dreams and goals when it comes to writing. But sometimes what we’ve come to believe about writing or the writing life can get in the way of seeing those dreams and goals come true. This can be true whether we’re just starting down the writing path or we’ve been at it for a while.
I’m talking about things like telling ourselves we should be writing a certain amount of hours every day. Or, that for a good writer, writing should flow easily. Do either of these sound familiar?
There’s more:
I should be able to write one book a year at least (a real writer can do that).
Ideas should be coming to a good writer at any and all times of the day.
…And I should have a notebook with me and should be filling it with ideas if I’m calling myself a writer…
I should sell x number of copies of a book to be successful.
There are more (so many more!) ways that we writers judge our own worth (and often fall short)…
Again, goals and dreams aren’t bad—not a bad at all! In the best cases, they can inspire us to try, grow and strive as writers. In the worst cases, however, they can become a discouraging hum (or shout!) that deflates our confidence, discourages our efforts, and causes us to give up.
The key of course is what you do with these shoulds when your writing life and efforts don’t match your expectations. Do you take it as data—an indication that you might want to try new tactics? Or even a sign that, possibly, your expectations were inaccurate, at least for you right now on your writing journey? This, I think, would be a helpful way to use “shoulds”, but in my experience, very few people see them this way. We don’t usually reflect on should or consider adjusting them, instead we fix them in time and space measure (ourselves) by them. When we fall short, we’ve failed. The problem is with us. And this is the quickest way to lose confidence in ourselves, maybe even for good (ugh!).
If a new writer reads somewhere that he must write 3,000 words a day in order to be a real writer, and finds this task initially (or forever!) impossible for him, should he throw in the towel? If a seasoned writer has picked up somewhere that for a real writer, a good writer, writing flows in an almost effortless fashion, and yet she is always stymied and slumped when it comes to writing those middle scenes, they’re always trouble…so much so that she doubts her own abilities. Is she just not cut out for this? Should she pick a new passion?
Or…instead of living by absolute “shoulds”…might these writers be much better served viewing their initial expectations as possibilities? I think so! Because when we experience a disconnect between a possibility and actual practice, we have the opportunity to adjust to a different possibility! And most importantly, we’ve found a way to remain on the writing journey.
So maybe…that new writer adjusts his word count expectations? Maybe he reduces his target by a bit, or a lot, until he feels comfortable with his writing rhythm? From there, the word count might expand over time (or not) but he is writing in a way that works for him…That is a recipe for growing confidence.
Could that seasoned writer simply accept that middles are a challenge for her—at least at this stage of her writing journey. Perhaps then she could seek strategies that might help her through, even if this isn’t her first book? Maybe she even reevaluates her belief that writing has to proceed beginning, middle, end…maybe zipping around to different spots in her story, even playing with out-of-the-box ideas when she gets to the sticky middle, could be among the very best “new” tips on how to write a good story this veteran author discovers for herself!
So, to protect a healthy and helpful Writer’s Mindset, I say we don’t give up our goals and dreams, but let’s consider giving up our shoulds. Let’s claim our status as writers right now—without delay!—no matter what our writing life or writing output currently looks like. We are writers simply for engaging the process of writing. As writers (already), we can then be open to adjustments, fresh perspectives, growth, and the fact that our writing journeys and output may not look exactly like everyone (or anyone) else’s. That’s what your writing goals can show you if you let them—not your worth as a writer, but your way as a writer.